Monday, November 15, 2010

Healthy Relationship Between Husband and Wife: Establish Solidarity in Relationships

Healthy Relationship Between Husband and Wife: Establish Solidarity in Relationships

Healthy relationships are fun and make you feel good about yourself. You can have a healthy relationship with anyone in your life, including your family, friends, partners or between husband wife. Relationships take time, energy, and care to make them healthy. The relationships that you make in your teen years will be a special part of your life and will teach you some of the most important lessons about who you are. This guide was written to help you understand different kinds of relationships, what makes each relationship special, and how to communicate in a positive way.

There are no such things as secrets to having a happy relationship. Most of what it takes to be happily married is in fact real love. Once there is real love between a man and a woman, the rest of the things will almost fall into place. That is not to say there won’t be some disagreements or cross words passed back and forth along your journey through life, as we are only human and certainly not perfect.But having a genuine relationship full of real love helps to patch the holes in the sometimes rough road of matrimony.

With so many breakups going on, how is it that some couples thrive while the rest fail to survive? The truth is that it takes some work to keep relationships healthy. And most people find that the work is well worth the effort when their relationship is still going strong decades after it began. Some simple strategies can help couples strengthen their romantic relationships, no matter what obstacles they face together. Here are the best tips to adhere to when seeking a healthy relationship between you and your loved one.

Be Specific About Your Needs:

Clarity and communication skills are vital to a healthy relationship. You need to be able to identify what you need to be happy and to express those needs to your partner. Focus in on details. If you need some time to yourself, tell you partner how much. If you require more intimacy in the bedroom, explain how your partner might accomplish that. Many people assume that their partners are mind readers and can’t understand why their needs go unmet. It helps simply to tell your partner what you need, respectfully and compassionately, but with a devotion to the honest articulation of your desires.

Respect and Trust:

In healthy relationships, you learn to respect and trust important people in your life. Disagreements may still happen, but you learn to stay calm and talk about how you feel. Talking calmly helps you to understand the real reason for not getting along, and it’s much easier to figure out how to fix it. In healthy relationships, working through disagreements often makes the relationship stronger.

In healthy relationships, people respect each other for who they are. This includes respecting and listening to yourself and your feelings so you can set boundaries and feel comfortable. You will find that you learn to understand experiences and feelings of others as well as having them understand your experiences and feelings.

Striking a Balance:

This idea of finding the right ratio in a healthy relationship applies not only to the positives and negatives, but to all aspects of the relationship. Says Allen, It is important to have shared activities, whether they be going to the movies, playing golf, or having conversation. Each partner in a couple can enjoy time together and time apart from the other. In a healthy romance, you do not expect to get all of your needs met by your partner in some idealized or unrealistic way.

When there are children in the relationship, the same rules of balance need to apply, says Allen. Have a date night, even if you don’t go out of the house, she suggests. Have dinner together without the children one night a week. Feed them early, and let them watch a DVD while you have a grown-up dinner.

Be Flexible and Learn to Accommodate Each Other:

You and your partner will always have certain things that make you different from each other. Learn to accept and celebrate those parts of you that are distinct from each other. Give each other time to explore your personal passions and grow as individuals even as you grow as a couple. Ask about those passions and invite your partner to share them without becoming intrusive or nosy. Let him know that you accept those differences and don’t try to change them to fit your conception of who he should be. Accommodate your partner’s differences without pettiness or jealousy and expect him to reciprocate in kind.

Resolve Disputes Cleanly:

Of course, some fighting is inevitable in a relationship, but Allen says it’s how you handle those disagreements that marks the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Do not avoid conflict, as avoiding conflict can be the kiss of death over time in relationships. But don’t vent anger toward each other in a conflict, she says. Instead, manage hurt and anger, so it is neither withheld nor vented on your partner. Use awareness of hurt and anger to express more directly and constructively your needs and concerns.

Make Time for Intimacy:

We all lead busy lives, but for a healthy relationship to work, couples should set time aside for each other. Intimacy means exploring your physical side and the warmth and connection which that brings, but also talking about hopes and fears, listening to your partner and even just talking about how your day went. The more honest you can be, the safer you will feel with each other, and the deeper your bonds will grow.

Forgive Each Other:

Everyone makes mistakes, and each half of the couple needs to take responsibility for his. But when doing so, learn to forgive your partner for those mistakes and not to judge harshly or hold a grudge. Similarly, you should expect to be forgiven for your mistakes when they arise and not to have past deeds held over you after you have taken steps to resolve them.

This should always be accompanied by a mature acceptance of one’s wrongdoing and earnest attempts to set them right. Forgiving someone is not the same as excusing someone. But excessive judgment can lead to bitterness, which undermines the trust and compassion upon which all relationships thrive.

Advice:

* Do not make up excuses for a physical violence relationship, “its your fault” it is not. If you are in a physical violence relationship, seek help. Even if it only happened once, it can happen again. But also many people can change, if they are trying and seeking help, encourage them through it, and show them love for their commitment to try and make the relationship better. Couples who take this journey together instead of breaking up, go on to have stronger relationships and happier lives together.
* Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle, but as a couple you will thrive once you get past it.
* Do not call it quits when you do argue. When in a state of anger, we can not rationalize and often find ourselves losing control by saying things we don’t mean. Hang in there and try to work it out before finalizing a break-up that you will regret after-wards. That said, if you find you are arguing more and more, examine the possible reasons, and talk it over together.
* There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Sure, most of the time you’ll be compromising. But don’t get shocked or overly depressed because of arguments or fights. This will come for sure. Without arguments and fights, your relationship will not grow stronger.

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